by Gerald Udowiczenko

Well I made it back without breaking anything. Skiing is great fun, I love the speed, shame I can't stop without help. The method they teach beginners is the Snow Plough, where you point the front tips of your skis together and push out at the rear. Well your editor couldn't do it. It didn't help that I had to change my boots four times until I found a pair that fitted that didn't cut-off circulation to my toes or that the skis were taller than me. Not to bore you, but you're meant to start with 176 - 180 (cm) skis. I was on 195, as the ski boots I had, which were bloody big wouldn't fit anything smaller.

In the end my instructor had to get a widget, which keeps the points of the skis together. This widget does separate when needed (going on ski lifts & chairs) or when you fall down (which I did a lot at the start). Apparently, young kids use them, until they can master the skill. Well none of the little French brats (aged about four & looked like wind up toys) used them, and thank god my French is bad, otherwise I might have heard them laughing at me. Its one thing thinking they are, but when you hear them............
Anyway, if you ever get the opportunity to go skiing I would suggest you give it a go. It is great fun and I will be going again. Though money might mean I won't be able to do it for a couple of years.

Thanks to Paul Gregory, Graham, Richard & Brucey for their contribution this week, as always I am lost without them.

MD (4-9, W1) @ NY (4-9, W2) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (28 - 14)
Gerald : Close one to call, but I'll have to go with homefield. Jets by 3.
Graham : Both coming (at last) into a little bit of form. Toss a coin and go . . . . Jets. NJ 3
Richard : Jets by 3.

BB (12-1, L1) @ NE (9-3-1, L1) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (24 - 21)
Gerald : No comment, but I want me defence back.
Graham : Would have been even more interesting if Pats hadn't slipped up last week. BB 7.
Richard : Bills by 7.

CI (3-10, W1) @ TT (6-6-1, W2) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (27 - 26)
Gerald : After a great (read diddley) win last week, what can the Bungles do against the Titans? It could be a lot closer than the Titans would like. Titans by 1.
Graham : Could be tight, but Titans seem to have recovered their poise. TN 6.
Richard : Bengals by 3.

PS (7-5-1, L3) @ CL (8-4-1, W7) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (27 - 23)
Gerald : This will probably decide the division. Tough one to call, but the Browns look the better team. After their slow start, they are looking very tough to stop. The Steelers have slipped up over the past 3 weeks, this will make it 4. Browns by 10.
Graham : Last chance for the faltering Steelers, but you wouldn't bet on them right now. CL 14.
Richard : Browns by 7.

DB (10-3, W7) @ KC (5-8, L1) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (34 - 3)
Gerald : The Broncos have the division, so are only playing for homefield. But that will be a toughie, as the Bills have a 2 game lead. But saying that, the Broncos did beat them last week, so anything is possible. The Chiefs have shown signs of greatness, but I can't see them doing any better than week 2. Broncos by 14.
Graham : Broncos on high after last week but have title wrapped up and may take it easy. Even so ...DB 7.
Richard : Broncos by 4.

SS (6-7, L1) @ OR (3-10, L6) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (24 - 10)
Gerald : The Hawks need this win to keep up in the wildcard race. Shouldn't really be a problem, as the Raiders have yet to find their legs. Hawks by 10.
Graham : Hawks need a win to get back in the wildcard hunt, and should get one. SS 10.
Richard : Seahawks by 1.

WR (12-1, W8) @ DC (3-10, L8) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (24 - 6)
Gerald : After last weeks slip, by the Eagles, the Skins have a good chance of winning the division. But they will need to keep wining, can't see it be a problem this week. Skins by 17.
Graham : Skins to warm up for our week 15 clash by pounding on the rebuilding 'Boys. WR 20.
Richard : Redskins by 7.

PE (12-1, L1) @ AC (1-12, L10) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (22 - 0)
Gerald : The Eagles are in the playoffs, but will want the division. Only way that will happen is if the Skins slip up and Eagles don't. With the way both these teams are playing I can't see the NFC East being decided until week 16. Eagles by 10.
Graham : One defeat won't stop the powerful Eagles notching up a big win here. PE 24.
Richard : Eagles by 14.

MV (7-6, W1) @ CB (6-6-1, W1) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (28 - 17)
Gerald : Probably Game of the Week (though the Steelers Browns is also in the running). A win here for the Vikes probably gives them the division. But I've a feeling it's going to be revenge for the Bears for their week 2 loss. Bears by 3.
Graham : Game of the Week, with the division title on the line. Tight, but I'll go with proven class. MV 6.
Richard : Vikings by 7.

TB (2-11, W1) @ DL (4-9, L1) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (23 - 7)
Gerald : Can't really see the Lions winner here, even at home. I get the feeling that Brucey will probably be playing for draft picks, but he could surprise us all? Buccs by 3.
Graham : Underachieving Lions ought to get another win here, but you never know. DL 6.
Richard : Buccs by 3.

SR (13-0, W15) @ NS (5-8, W1) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (41 - 7)
Gerald : The last remaining unbeaten team, against if memory serves me (and it probably doesn't) the last team to beat them in regular season. Its going to be close, but it seems you just can't stop the Rams. Perhaps we should take a leaf out of 'The Last Boy Scout' and shoot some of them? Even so, I think the Saints can do it. Saints by 2.
Graham : No comment.
Richard : Rams by 1.

SF (7-5-1, L4) @ AF (4-9, L2) Last time : wk 2, 2003 (22 - 17)
Gerald : The 49ers seem have to lost that wining way and playing against a Falcons team that seem to have lost it again this season, could be just what the doctor ordered. 49ers by 10.
Graham : Plummeting Niners may just keep their wildcard spot safe with a win here. SF 3.
Richard : 49ers by 1.

by Graham Canwell (Week 13)

Gerald to Paul Gregory : Thanks for the e-mail and do as much stirring as you want. Though when I've tried it it hasn't worked, but don't let that put you off.

Gerald to Jon : Looked like the team never turned up? A very poor show offensively. Do hope you're not going to slide like the Vikings (NFL) did last season?

Gerald to Richard : Glad things are mending well and good luck with the physio.

Gerald to Richard : Well it would have made it even more interesting for this weeks game, if I hadn't lost last week. Unless you totally collapse (which would be nice, but very unlikely) in the next 3 games and we can start scoring points at will then I think the division is yours. Damn! Well at least a wildcard spot is looking good, as long as I don't blow it.

Jon to Graham : A good game for one half, though I'm a bit miffed that you managed to score so many points in the second half (as usual). The game was certainly closer than the final scoreline. I think your long passing, dumpoff or otherwise, was the main difference. Maybe I'll get another shot in the playoffs! And I've still never beaten you in St.Louis.

Jon to Paul : Looks like Wk.16 could well be the decider. See you then!

Jon to Stuart (or whoever beat Richard) : Good win. Congratulations.

Jon to Richard : So that was 2 bad results in one envelope for me! At least you won one of your games.

Graham to Dave J : Well done. After playing you I knew you'd get another win. Now make it a habit.

Graham to Jon : It was a good game (a great one for 30 minutes) but the scoreline flattered us a bit and I'm sure we'll meet again this year so the celebrations are on ice.

Graham to Richard : I also missed it, but if by chance we meet in the Big One again I'm sure I'll end up wishing I'd missed that too.

Graham to Gerald : Your turn to be Diddleyed this week!! How does it feel?

Gerald to Graham : Humm. Not sure yet. At least we got some yardage. But it looks like I'm going to have to go back to my D to win more games.

Richard to Dave C : Congratulations on your win it was a good game which you thoroughly deserved to win. It was an excellent comeback.

Richard to Dave G : No problems with the offence in week 13. Hope you get a Rammy.

Gerald to Richard : Whose Dave G??

Richard to Graham : Well done you are the last one standing as usual. Another excellent performance.

Richard to Gerald : It will be a good benchmark test for my offence to play your defence. You know the old adage.

My name is, my name is, my name is ......... the real Paul Gregory

My name is Paul Gregory - I've just taken over the Bengals (No more Bungles) Just to worry you boys out there, when I received my gumf, saw the Bengals struggling and only 4 games left I decided just to play the season out, get a good draft pick. But even though I only took five minutes to change my Gameplan for the Pats, we won, just think what I'm gonna do to you people, when I really try.
Next the Titans will be dwarfed by the roaring tigers, if I feel like it that is, I really do want a good pick in the draft

Just had a quick chat with Jon today (Monday) and he was talking about trying to meet up for a drink. He'd mentioned it in the Yahoo Groups thing (I think that's what you said Jon?) and got quite a few favourable responses.

So after much deliberating (about 5 minutes, when we both looked though our diaries) we found a date that we both could make and a location that isn't too hard (though after a few drinks who knows?) to find. So how about Friday 6 April at the Fulmar & Firking Pub in Holborn (Central & Piccadilly Lines), Central London? According to Jon, it's about a minute walk from the station. This doesn't just have to be an AB Pub Meet, so I'll get Brucey to mention it on his web site and you never know, who will turn up.

When we get closer to the date (next issue) I'll publish more complete directions. But if you're free that Friday get in contact with me and let me know if you can make it. Also let me know if you need somewhere to crash, as I may be able to find a floor somewhere, any offers?